Funny Quotes

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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. —Rodney Dangerfield
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. —Les Dawson
I’m not insane. My mother had me tested. —Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), The Big Bang Theory
I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? —Chandler (Matthew Perry), Friends
The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. —Clairee Belcher (Olivia Dukakis), Steel Magnolias

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